Out of the dark and into the light

The following blog comes with a trigger warning relating to trauma.

Cancer. It’s one of those words that strikes fear into your core. How can one six-letter word have so much power? It’s just a bunch of letters yet it signifies so much and has such a profound impact on women, especially in the North West of England. With significantly higher rates in the NW compared to the national average, and Liverpool itself having the second highest rate of breast cancer diagnoses it was down to statistics you could say, that I was one of those ladies who heard the dreaded words in 2014.

Following the birth of my second child, I was a happy, enriched, lucky lady – I had two beautiful children and life was good. However, my bubble of tranquillity burst when not long after the birth of my second daughter I was diagnosed with Grade 3 Breast Cancer. Having one young child and a newborn and undergoing intensive treatment was not the maternity leave I thought I’d be having. On top of being postpartum with my second child, I was now battling with my therapy in a fight for my future and that of one with my family. 

Fast forward a few years, and after successfully beating the disease once, a reoccurrence happened in 2021. During a global pandemic, when the world was in lockdown, we were now meant to keep our distance to save lives, I was once again battling for mine but was determined not to let it win again.

Chemotherapy, radiotherapy (twice) and a mastectomy later I am proud to say I won the battle (hoorah) and have been in remission since but I never forgot the fear associated with that initial diagnosis and treatment; what was going to happen to me? What will happen to my family? What’s going to happen? In a whirlwind of emotions and questions, it would have been easy to fall down the rabbit hole and spiral into a world of fear, terror and pain but much like Alice on her adventures in Wonderland I took to the challenge and sought out positive ways to well-being and answers to the endless riddles of so-called medical miracles.

Complementary therapies have been increasingly recognised for their potential benefits for Breast Cancer patients with results indicating that comfort and relaxation can alleviate treatment side effects, reduce anxiety, improve sleep quality, and foster a sense of positivity and control. Thinking back to my potential spiral down the rabbit hole where i could have leant towards lack of hope and negativity, these were not positive attributes that appealed to me and so I embraced on introducing and then learning holistic treatments myself, putting reiki, breathwork, sound therapy, meditation and walking into my daily practice when I was well enough to do so – I did it all, I was going to use everything available to me and with every ‘bite’ of a new treatment I did, i indeed grow stronger and taller (even if not in the literal height sense!)

Through my recovery journey, I was astounded to learn how these holistic practices have aided me in my own healing and I was inspired to share this experience with others on their paths. I felt like life after Cancer is possible, and that with the right support, healing is achievable.

These practices significantly aided me in my healing, motivating me to assist others on their paths so I decided to train professionally to be able to help others. I believe life after cancer is possible, and with the right support, healing is achievable but financial constraints caused by the cost of living crisis and unemployment during and after chemotherapy can impact the viability of such treatments for many men and women who wish to undertake alternative therapies. Often viewed as a luxury, a nice to have, how often do we carve time out for those self-love moments, especially when going through treatment?

It’s this first-hand experience, understanding and empathy that made me passionate about starting my own CIC, to support men and women on their treatment journey and helping with trauma. With the right therapies and skilled therapists, I could provide essential support for men and women affected by breast cancer throughout their journey, from diagnosis to treatment and recovery and their support networks. It is important to me that we know and believe, that we are not our trauma.

It’s not been an easy journey, starting and running a CIC with two small children, a global pandemic and undergoing treatment myself was a challenge however I refused to give up and focused on the desperate need, the requirement, for support services for local people in the city to fight this white rabbit, this tick-tocking time call from a white rabbit bounding into our lives. As such, The Lodge Wellness Centre was born featuring a dedicated range of activities focusing on enriching the mental health of those dealing with the ramifications of not just breast cancer, but a wide range of other servies. A specially tailored range of services focuses on alleviating symptoms for all people, including social anxiety, sleep disorders stress, low self-confidence, and the side effects of treatment. I’m proud to also have extended treatments from individuals to group bases aiming to improve self-worth, nurture self-compassion, enhance self-awareness, foster positivity, and help patients overcome the everyday challenges they face during treatment.

Fighting my breast cancer, I had the support of my family, friends and beautiful children and I realise not everyone has this network. It’s taken me ten years to be able to write this blog and share my story. At The Lodge, I wanted to provide a network of others who understand, who can empathise and who are going through the same thing, who are enjoying the holistic treatments and support network that are so vital in a recovery journey. As such, it’s important that those who are close to us, who are witnessing first-hand the treatments, appointments and worries patients are going through are also supported in this journey and this is why I focus on ensuring whole family engagement, not just providing treatments for patients on their journey but for those family/support network members too!

I am delighted that we have been able to already support so many women and their support networks on their recovery journey and funding from the Pink Ribbon will mean that we can extend and expand our range of free complimentary treatments to men and women undergoing breast cancer treatment in their recovery as well as their families. Going through my own journey, i noticed the need of not just the person with the diagnosis but the family who were there to support them. They also need support too, as it must be so difficult wathching someone so ill, without any ability to take away the illness.

I am here to try to inspire you to begin to heal and go on to life your best life, by helping with things that help me, whilst also helping with mindset and personal development. I believe that together we are stronger and together we can.

Thanks to the Pink Ribbon funding, I’m looking forward to a future whereby that allusive word holds no power over us, where we can be strong, positive and capable of facing the challenge head-on without following that white rabbit down a spiralling hole of despair. Instead, this time, we will arm ourselves with holistic treatments, support networks and alternative therapies which will help us on our recovery journey. So if you’re interested in finding out more, I’ll be relaxing in the meditation room, deep breathing and enjoying a sound bath…if you see that white rabbit, tell it to jog on!

Much Love

Tricia Lawless, MD, The Lodge Wellness Centre